Who am I?

Who am I? Am I my thoughts? My perceptions?

My beliefs? My job? My culture?

Am I a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter,

an aunt, a cousin, a friend, or possibly

even a  villain in someone else's story?

 

 

Which one of those roles is the most meaningful? What do they mean to me? How do others perceive my personality traits? Which one is closest to my verity? Is it how I see myself, or is it how others see me? 

 

It's easy to symbolize our identities through our titles, professions, accomplishments and names. Our names are words that form a sound to identify us, our titles are letters attached to our names, and our professions are activities we perform. Our thoughts translate to behaviors and decisions. Do these define who we are? If these definitions were stripped away, would we cease to exist? What is left of us when our representations and titles no longer exist? 

 

 

Who am I?

 

 

The first time I got asked, 'Who are you?' I couldn’t fully grasp the intention of the question, although it initially sounded trivial. Why would someone ask me who I am? Usually, the question is more defined with objective answers. What's your name? What's your job, are you married? 

 

I have been programmed for years to believe I am who I am, but I'm only a product of my environment, culture, beliefs, experiences and thoughts. People define their identities according to their experiences, perceptions and values to create meaning. We identify ourselves based on our titles, accomplishments, and professional roles because that is what society recognizes and places value in. These are all external influences. Have we been so naively busy trying to 'fit in', consequently giving up our internal power to our external environment? 

 

Am I being true to myself, or am I internalizing the external influences that society and the environment around me proclaim? Do experiences define who I am? Are they part of who I am? Or is it the way I respond to them? Or the way I learn from them? How can I view myself outside of myself to identify who I am? How can I visualize myself arbitrarily as 'I am who I am just this way?'  

 

The human sphere lives collectively within three arrays.

We are spiritual beings, blessed with intellect,

encompassed in a physical body.

 

Does the lack of understanding of who we are as spiritual beings keep us locked in the physical realm? 

 

 

As a female living in an Arab and Islamic society, defining who I am spiritually is disputable. Unfortunately, throughout history, females have been the inferior gender, albeit for the wrong reasons. Sadly, this was misguidedly interrelated to religion and culture. It's like a marketing holocaust. We must be conscious of defending our minds against the assimilations and dullness that the environment discharges into our thought processes and belief systems that causes a disjoint in our identities.

 

How should we stimulate and cultivate consciousness to defend and preserve our minds to truly understand who we are? How do we differentiate between who we are as part of the social environment that defines our roles and responsibilities and imparts a sense of identity, which we undeniably also need, and who we are as spiritual, intellectual beings? 

 

Why do individuals give themselves the privilege to decide the spiritual reality for others? No one should be able to define that part of my being but me! The spiritual relationship I choose to devise is solely between God and me; no one should interfere. How can we grow as humans if we give ourselves the right to define and gauge others in their spiritual realm from a purely materialistic perspective? Spirituality is not tangible. 

 

I have not found one verse in the Quran to summon that we have the concession to indict others based on their physical appearances or behaviors that we perceive as part of the fragmented preconceptions we model in our minds. Unfortunately, we still live in an era where if you display certain rituals, such as being devoted to praying in the mosque, presenting with a beard, or a specific attire, you are automatically translated to be a ‘religious and spiritual person’. Of course, if you are male, you have an added bonus!

 

That is not to say I do not respect or acknowledge such sacraments. Those rituals are rooted within my culture, and I will not argue the principal representations they offer, but I’m also trying to illustrate that there is more profundity in being a religious and spiritual being that cannot stay caged in a physical sphere of occurrences. 

 

 If you can read and understand Arabic, I ask you to read this verse from the Quran away from any concepts you have previously been programmed into, examine the words from your mind and observe what you feel and think. I don’t hold any absolute answers, but I have faith that God sends us messages through the Quran to understand what it means to be a human.

 

(Those who believe in the Quran, Those who follow the Jewish scripture, And the Sabians, Christians, Magians, and Polytheists, God will judge between them On the Day of Judgment : For God is witness Of all things) Al Hajj or pilgrim, verse 17

 

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَالَّذِينَ هَادُوا وَالصَّابِئِينَ وَالنَّصَارَىٰ وَالْمَجُوسَ وَالَّذِينَ أَشْرَكُوا إِنَّ اللَّـهَ يَفْصِلُ بَيْنَهُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ

)سورة الحج، الآية ١٧)

 

In this verse, God implies that we don’t have the right to judge individuals based on their faith, regardless of their religious or non-religious convictions. The ultimate judgement is given to Him only. So how is it that we presumed we have the right to stipulate to others their essence of spirituality through their religious beliefs? God emphasizes that He is the only one to judge those religious or non-religious sects on judgement day. Yet, we gave ourselves the privilege to judge other people’s spiritual reality based solely on physical façades!

 

We are obligated to maintain a humanitarian essence within our relationships without being impacted by different religions or beliefs. Yet, we are plagued by judging others from a visceral edge. Spirituality will be taken care of by the individual and God Himself. At any point in time, when we realize that ‘being human’ does not exercise forms of instinctive judgements, only then will we be able to understand who we are on a more sophisticated level and hopefully be a step closer to being ‘humanized’. 

 

Another verse from the Quran rises amid my contemplations. (That man can have nothing but what he strives for) AlNajm, verse 39. 

 

وَأَن لَّيْسَ لِلْإِنسَانِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَى* (سورة النجم، الآية  ٣٩)

 

The journey of self-discovery is a pursuit of our truths through confronting our powers and fears. If we surrender our sovereignty to peripheral societal establishments, we will be a product of our frail submissions.

 

 

We can only proclaim our spiritual existence if we choose

the courage and fortitude to own our thoughts.